never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
