i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize