how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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