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• (951): View more from California

  Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?

  (949): View more from California

  Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.

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• (+66): View more from Thailand

  Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.

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• (718): View more from New York

  She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.

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• (631): View more from New York

  So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.

  Fav 1 61 98

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• (207): View more from Maine

  How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes

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