i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize