we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
