Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
