I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
COCAINE IS GR8
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
