apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
