you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
