I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
