yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
