We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
