Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
