I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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