i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
