i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
