Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
