Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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