Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
