well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Randomize
