This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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