I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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