I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
