May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just forgot I was standing up.
How does it feel to date your dad?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
