No more Irish car bombs ever.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize