Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
