ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
