So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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