i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
