After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
