I love black thongs
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
