is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
