I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
