Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
