she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
