Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
