so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize