worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
