I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
