I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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