I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
