So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
