just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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