he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
