hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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