this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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