Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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