Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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