is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
