I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
