And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
