Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Nicole vs. Life
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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