Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
