Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
