Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
