okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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