in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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