Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
