I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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